Monday, April 5, 2010

Mind over matter: who's the boss anyway?

I saw Doc this morning for N.T. and also did an i.v. without chelation agents.  Here's what he said: the trigger (the chemical burn in my eye that led to adrenaline rush) blows a fuse and stimulates a 'memory circuit.'   We all know the body (and mind) are built to remember traumatic events with more force and robustness than normal and/or pleasant events, but if one can intervene before the new process gets too deeply imbedded, it can easily be reversed.

He did some more woo-woo type things -- using a gadget like a massager that alternated pushing on two nearly spots at a high rate. He tapped and moved things around my left eye, pushed here and there, until he felt that he had disconnected the trigger from the physical reaction of the body.  Then he did the NT injections (tonsils, gums, upper chest, back, ankles, lower belly).  

He smiled confidently,  convinced he knew exactly what to do to keep me from spiraling downward -- clearly a source of pride for him to be able to help.  For in the past, I was so helpless to stop the crashes, using only the supplements and psychological tools that had aided me on my slow recoveries, but not strong enough to cut through the blown fuse.  His confidence in himself gave me confidence that this time it will be different!

He told me that I am taking the treatments more rapidly, e.g. getting balanced on his treatment table with less effort.  I am holding between treatments now.  It won't be long before I can drop to 1 treatment a week.

I know I have to work on my mind -- if I can keep it from racing down the doomsday path and keep up my good spirits -- I'll be assured of faster progress.  Even though I don't buy all the stuff promulgated in [I]The Secret[/I], I can see how my thoughts create a physiological state of anxiety and grief that put further stress on my system, especially my sensitive kidney meridian /adrenals, and make it that much harder to rebound.  So that's my new goal -- getting help from energy workers and hypnotists to keep hope and joy afloat at all times.

I'm sitting here with my feet hurting (a sign of poor vasoconstriction in the legs, associated with orthostatic intolerance) and rolling them over this roller-pin shaped massager.  I'm feeling positive and hopeful.  But the Negative Train is waiting at the station, whistling as if it's ready to start rolling to the land of Doom and Gloom.   I keep turning my head away from it, looking for the Train headed to Success and Joy.    

I just made two appointments for next week -- one with a hynotherapist/coach, the other with an energy healer.  The energy healer picked up my distrust and 'saw' me as divided between the part that wants to heal and the part that is stuck and closed in illness.  I am excited about releasing these stuck places and strengthening the open, hopeful parts.

The multiple traumas of failed medical therapies are memories that impede my ability to fully embrace the possibilities offered to me now.  It will be therapeutic to write them up this week.  It will give me something else to do to avoid finishing my taxes.

A big THANKS to everyone who wrote in support and to ALL who sent loving thoughts and prayers.

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